So my little pregnancy ticker on the right says I have 14 days to go, but in fact, I only have 7 because I'm being induced next Wednesday. My doctor said right at the beginning of this pregnancy that he wouldn't let me go past 39 weeks because Ellen was such a big baby.
It has been really nice knowing there is a definite end date on this pregnancy. Also, we could plan for my mom to come into town the day before so she can be here with Ellen while we are in the hospital.
I'm excited to meet our little girl, but there's part of me that wonders how I'm going to handle two kids. So from those of you that have been there, do you have any tips or suggestions? I'd love to hear anything about what helped your first child transition, how you made it through the day with your sanity, etc. Please feel free to comment! :) Thanks!
It has been really nice knowing there is a definite end date on this pregnancy. Also, we could plan for my mom to come into town the day before so she can be here with Ellen while we are in the hospital.
I'm excited to meet our little girl, but there's part of me that wonders how I'm going to handle two kids. So from those of you that have been there, do you have any tips or suggestions? I'd love to hear anything about what helped your first child transition, how you made it through the day with your sanity, etc. Please feel free to comment! :) Thanks!
Having the second kid wasn't that big of an adjustment. It seemed (for me at least) like I went on with life as normal but with one more in tow. It was our third baby that came with all the challenge and chaos. You will do great with two. You seem like a fabulous mom! Good luck with the delivery. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThis might not apply exactly since Ellen is younger than Miriam was, but I tried really hard to not have Miriam get a complex about Magdalena. I let her touch her and hold her and even be a bit less gentle than you'd think, just so she knew that this was her sister, and she was accessible and loveable. A good example of what I mean is here.
ReplyDeleteWe took Evan to the store shortly before Kyle came and let him pick out a few things for the baby. A new towel, toy, etc. Then he got to give them to Kyle and help with the bath with the new towel he picked so he felt a little more involved. We did it again this time and it seems to help.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree that involving Ellen in most things will be beneficial for everyone. Make sure she feels included and excited about the new addition. Take advantage of the times that the baby naps and make Ellen feel special. I have no doubts that you'll do wonderful. Two will be a breeze for you! Best of luck to you all!
ReplyDeleteYou don't want to hear ANYTHING I have to say. I went from 1 to 3, and it was H***. SO I am sure you will have it easy :)
ReplyDeleteAndrew was a bit older than Ellen, so talking, talking talking about it numerous times each day a few days ahead totally helped.
ReplyDeleteNew toys are also great. We had one for him at the hospital and made the moving bed a game - let her push buttons etc. Don't be holding baby when she comes to the hospital and make it all about her, how much you missed her etc. then introduce baby sister.
I had a C-section so Andrew didn't know Grammy very well, so I had little toys for her to give him when she thought he needed it so they became best buds.
I also had a few new toys for when I came home to help me not have to lift him up. and so I could rest. I let him be on the floor with baby - when he wanted to hold him, I'd let him for about 5 minutes etc.
You'll do fine, My first week was hard because Andrew learned how to climb out of his crib AND remove the door knob covers, but after that its been pretty smooth sailing
Some of the things that seem to be helping right now with our transition from one to two is to read books about "a new baby in the house"! We replace the word baby with Alta and Gabe seems to love that book. We try to make him feel just as important. It's definitely a challenge (since babies are fairly demanding) but definitely worth the effort. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteMy friend told me this after both moms had come, but she said it was good to write a to do list and put it on the fridge so that if anyone came and asked if they could do anything to help you could refer them to thelist on the fridge
ReplyDeleteIts simple. Bring the baby home on on Christmas Eve evening. When child #1 wakes up and gives the newborn the "Who are you and what are you doing with my Mom" look, then you exclaim "Its Christmas!!" and you open presents and its all good.
ReplyDeleteAt least that worked for Adria and I
Just expect it to be crazier than anything you've done, and you'll be pleasantly surprised. You will amaze yourself with how well you adjust.
ReplyDeleteHere's a few tips:
~My sister gave me really good advice that she herself had gone back and forth about:
Your newborn won't remember but your toddler will.
So find time to play/talk/read with ellen, and let baby just lie and do her thing. One difference this time around has been to realize i don't have to be holding him all the time. He's perfectly okay to just lie and look around the room while i play with Corban.
~don't stress. Just take one 10-minute block at a time. At first i'd get all emotional because my toddler needed me to get something, and i had just started nursing. But as i got better at nursing again, and learned to help him figure out he had to wait, i feel on top of this 2 kid thing. :) Sometimes you can distract them with songs or verbal games until it's feasible to get up to help them.
~If toddler can't be gentle, redirect to other play. Save together moments for them when you can be close by and supervising. Maybe it's just a boy thing. :)
~I don't know for other people, but it was fun to treat baby kind of as a new friend. So every time toddler would wake up, he'd say "baby ethan!!" Like he does when one of his little friends come over.
~i did the whole baby-give-a-gift thing at the hospital. It was a set of little cars, which my toddler LOVES. I don't think he connected it very much with baby, but he sure had fun playing with him while he was there. So why not; doesn't hurt.
~BEST advice: have your mom come for 3 weeks, and have her cook, clean and watch ellen. It was awesome, and made it feel easy to have 2 kids. Then 3 days after she's left, get your toddler REALLY sick (hysterical screaming, sleepless nights... hand foot mouth disease) then as they start to get better, you realize 2 healthy kids is really a breeze.
~Talk to people... have someone to talk to, whether visitor or phone call, or house guest. You can get overwhelmed with feelings if you add loneliness/isolation on top of that. It's good to connect with people. Feel free to call me up!
~it wasn't as hard as i thought. you can do it. It's a lot easier going to 2 than becoming a mother for the first time. You're stronger than you were last time.
And don't hesitate to give me a call at any hour if you need me! :)
Everyone is different, but it is probably better to expect the worst, then be pleasantly surprised. For me, it wasn't until April was about two months old that we had a hard time. Lucy stopped taking naps (and realized this baby taking my time was not leaving) and threw lots of tantrums. And my crazy hormone mood swings lasted longer than I expected, so I was not the most patient mom all the time. It has helped me to get out of the house and talk to other moms. And I definitely need to stop every once and a while and enjoy every little thing about being at home with my girls. Lucy has always been a gentle, helpful big sister, but she still needs daily one-on-one mom time. Most days are great now, and it is so much fun to watch them interact together. I love the extra business of two kids, and I love having a baby to snuggle with. Your kids are so lucky to have come to your family! Good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteYou've gotten great advice already! I would add to have really low expectations about how much you're going to get done each day. I know Jeff is very helpful, but don't hesitate to ask him to do things that you usually do yourself. Also, as soon as you are feeling well enough, leave both kids with Jeff at least once a week to get out of the house by yourself, even if it's just a quick errand. I have found that very helpful for me this time. Even if it's something I could easily take the baby with me, it really helps my mood to have some me time and it helps Matthew learn to deal with the kids himself and bond with the baby. There will be hard times at first, but before you know it, those early months will be over and you'll wonder where they've gone!
ReplyDeleteKeep an eye on Ellen--she'll eventually begin to blame her little sister for things she does (I would know--I do it all the time!):)
ReplyDelete